The Nemesis Dynamic
by xxStarBrightxx
Summary: A collection of short, funny, and sometimes heartwarming drabbles about our favorite frienemies : Not romantic, just a bunch of bromantical goodness! Request themes for future drabbles too!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys, this is my first Phineas and Ferb fic :) I started watching the show a few months ago and love it so much! Esp. Perry and Doof lol. So here are a bunch of drabbles to be updated (hopefully) regularly. I want to put about 10 per chapter. Also, mention some titles that you would like to see in your reviews! Let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Emotions**

It was surprising, in a way, the vast array of sentiments that bubbled up to the surface as the pair fought. There was, of course, a deeply rooted, mutual hatred, anger, frustration, a rush of adrenaline, but beneath it all: an explosive joy at the ability to release all of these emotions at once.

**Routine**

"Ah, Perry the Platypus, how unexpected! And by "unexpected", I mean- well, completely expected, I mean, this happens everyday. Like, every single day. At the same exact time... Seriously, why on Earth did I say "unexpected"?"

**Peter the Panda**

Well, this is awkward…

**Legacy**

Though he would never admit it, Perry secretly hoped that Vanessa would follow in her father's footsteps to being evil. If for no other reason than to see the way Doofenshmirtz's face lit up at the idea of Vanessa taking after her Daddy.

**Then again**

…perhaps it was because Perry hated the idea of anyone else causing the doctor pain. And the pain and dejection etched on Doof's face when his daughter turned away from him was enough to tug on his platypus heartstrings.

**Fourth Wall**

"Perry the Platypus, are you aware of some of the fanfiction people are writing about us?"

**Soaps**

It was hard to believe that they had anything in common with one another. But fandom is an unbelievably strong bond. So is the disappointment that comes from having your stories canceled because of a soccer game.

But that, of course, was the difference between their jobs.

**Couch**

A final though occurred to him as Carl fired up the Amesinator: "I hope I at least remember not sit on the middle cushion…"

**Water**

"You see, Perry the Platypus, I dug a moat around my apartment- now you'll never be able to get to my –inator and destroy it! I'll finally be able to take over the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!"

A flicker of an amused smile appeared on Perry's face. The doctor always seemed to forget that he was semi-aquatic.

**Bully**

"There comes a time when you don't wanna bully everyone, you just wanna bully someone you love."

The implications of this statement (and Perry's fist) hit Doof full force in the face.

**Oh, so silly! So hit that review button and give me some ideas :) ('cause I'm a bit strapped for them right now, actually…)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Whoo! Chapter 2 is up! Thanks so much guys, for all of the awesome reviews. Especially D. and Deborahpflover for your suggestions! I hope I'm writing up to your expectations :)**

**A BIG thanks to my brother for help with the "-Inators" drabble. :)**

**Disclaimer: Me no own.**

**Traps**

It was a silent agreement, an unwritten rule, and a respectful gesture. Perry always waited until he was done with his backstory (and in some cases, his songs), before escaping from his trap. And in return, Doof agreed to make sure that the traps were escapable.

**Rodger**

It was his job to thwart Heinz's attempts to overthrow, discredit, and humiliate the other Doofenshimertiz. But frankly, there would be times, when Rodger would make some comment about his brother, or do something to embarrass him, when Perry just wanted to step aside and let Heinz exact a little brotherly revenge.

**Communication**

He couldn't talk, but Doofenshimertiz could usually understand what Perry the Platypus was trying to say. At least he didn't verbally mock him like so many other people had in the past. And he was a very good listener, always paying attention to Heinz's backstories. Come to think of it, Doofenshimertiz had much better communication with the monotreme than any human he had ever known.

**Knock**

"Perry the Platypus, could you please just use the door? For once!" Dr. Doofenshimertiz sighed, trying not to let on the fact that Perry's surprise entrances kept him on his toes. It was a game he played, truing to guess which window or wall Perry the Platypus would crash through next, landing right in the middle of a trap he had laid.

Although, a knock every once in a while would be nice. Not to mention it would save him a lot in repair costs.

**Broadway**

Doofenshimertiz wrapped up another musical backstory with an impressive high note. Perry sat inside his cage, reasoning that if the evil scientist thing got old, Doofenshimertiz could probably have a pretty lucrative career on stage.

**Curses**

"CURSE YOU PETER THE PANDA!" he screamed as the agent disappeared, lamenting that the phrase just didn't sit on his tongue right.

**Help**

Dr. Heinz Doofenshimertiz was not weak. He did not bruise easily. He considered himself to be made out of sightly tougher stuff than the average Joe, perhaps. Ask his daughter, and she would flippantly reply that he "blew up on a daily basis". He usually walked away, not unscathed, his clothes singed and torn, his face and hands a bit scratched and sooty, but escaping any major injury.

But Dr. Heinz Doofenshimertiz was only human. Occasionally, he needed a little help getting out of the dangerous situations he so frequently put himself in. So, occasionally Perry saved him. Diving in at the last second to bar his nemesis from mortal injury.

Maybe it was because Perry was a good guy, and he couldn't very well let someone die when it could so easily rescue them. Maybe it was because it was part of the job to ensure that no one got hurt form the doctor's inventions, including Heinz himself.

Or maybe it was something more. Maybe it was because Perry cared about Dr. Heinz Doofenshimertiz.

**-Inators**

"You see, Perry the Platypus, every time you show up, you destroy my -inator and foil my evil scheme! So I've built an ANOTHER PERRY-INATOR! I just press this button, and another Perry appears to foil your scheme to foil my evil scheme!"

**Practice**

Perry unleashed a series of particularly forceful blows to the punching bag in front of him when the picture taped to its face tore, half of it falling gracefully to the floor. Silently, he retrieved some tape from his desk to mend it. As he repaired his make-shift dummy, he couldn't help but wonder if Doofenshimertiz practiced with a fake Perry. It would be nice to know he cared.

**Theme Song**

He hated those cute little songs, like the Slushy the Clown jiggle: _"Lettuce so green and burgers so brown, lunchtime's fun with Slushy the Clown!"- _Gah! He always ended up with them stuck in his head, and he would find himself humming them under his breath in the shower.

Although he had to admit; Perry the Platypus' theme song was quite catchy.

**A/N: I hope you liked it! Remember to review and send in suggestions :) :) :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, once upon a time, there was a fanfic author, whose normal bedtime was 10:30, but for some reason decided to stay up until almost 1am finishing a chapter. The results were disastrous: she misspelled her second favorite character's name! Even after watching the episode in which he complains about people messing up his name! It's not even a particularly difficult name to spell- it's completely phonetic! *sighs***

**Guys, I made a boo boo. Please forgive me?**

**Thanks to D. T. Guthary (is that right?) for pointing that out, as well as some great suggestions. Also thanks to NattyMc for the awesome ideas and everyone else who reviewed.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd probably spell their names right :(**

**Norm**

"..with my ATTRACT-ALL-OF-THE-BASEBALLS-IN-THE-TRI-STATE-AREA-INATOR, no one will have anymore baseballs! And when all of the baseballs in the Tri-State-Area are gone- no one will be able to play baseball. And when no one can play baseball anymore, they will be forced to play _Doofball_ instead!"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO FINALLY PLAY CATCH WITH ME TODAY."

"Norm, go to your room! I'm trying to monologue here! Now, as I was saying, Perry the Platypus-"

"OH, IT'S ALL ABOUT PERRY THE PLATYPUS, ISN'T IT?"

"Norm, you pile of junk! Get out of here!"

"Krrrrrrrr…"

"EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, PERRY THE PLATYPUS, HE THINKS OF YOU AS _FAMILY_."

"_Norm,_ you stupid glorified toaster! You weren't supposed to _tell _him that…"

**Platyborg**

Doofenshmirtz stared, wide-eyed at the mechanical parody of his own nemesis. Sure, practically, this form had so much built-in weaponry, it must be a lot better for maintaining control over an entire Tri-State-Area, but when you considered the trade-off, Doofenshmirtz decided he preferred the cute and fluffy and all around cuddliness of his own Perry the Platypus to the stiff metal gears of the cyborg general.

**Coffee**

Perry swiftly avoided the doctor's fist and shot towards the machine, it was only until he was almost on top of it that he realized there was something missing. He looked around, dumbfounded by the lack of self-district button on the CHEESE-INATOR.

"Oh did I forget the self-district button? I'm sorry Perry the Platypus, I'm just can't do anything right until I have my coffee…"

**Backstory**

Doofenshmirtz scowled as he caught sight of Agent P trying to break out of his cage using a nail file.

"You know, Perry the Platypus, that's really rude." Perry looked up, a skeptical expression gracing his features. "I mean seriously- do you know how long I spend everyday trying to perfect my backstories for you? I work long and hard to make sure that you are well informed of my reasons for wanting to take over the entire Tri-State-Area, and this is how you repay me? I'm…I'm disappointed in you, Perry the Platypus. I mean, I'd expect this sort of thing from a low-level agent like Peter the Panda, but _you_, Perry the Platypus-"

Perry swiftly interrupted Doofenshmirtz with a right hook to the face.

**Frontstory**

"…well, anyway, because of those flamingoes, I've been too busy to come up with a proper backstory today, so I decided to make my very own BACKSTORY-INATOR! That way, I can focus all my energy on more important things, like-"

Perry's foot made contact with Doofenshmirtz's nose, sending him hurdling into his own contraption. He knocked into it, his elbow colliding with the lever on the side, switching the setting from "Backstory" to "Frontstory".

"Uh-oh," muttered Heinz. "I'm not quite sure why I put that on there… I wonder what-"

A green beam shot from the top of the -inator, blasting Doofenshmirtz in the face. The doctor stood up and shook his head.

"Well that was weird," he said. "Oh, but Perry the Platypus! I know what I'm going to do today! You see, two weeks from now, I'm going to order an ice cream cone, but instead of giving me their new limited-edition 'Almond Brittle' flavor, the ice cream vendor is going to give me plain old chocolate! Perry the Platypus, I have to change all of the ice cream flavors in the world to 'Almond Brittle'! I know- I'll make a CHANGE-ALL-OF-THE-ICE-CREAM-IN-THE-WORLD-TO-'ALMOND-BRITTLE'-FLAVOR-INATOR! But, now, wait, if I do that, then I will never actually get the chocolate ice cream, so there will be no motivation for me to make this CHANGE-ALL-OF-THE-ICE-CREAM-IN-THE-WORLD-TO-'ALMOND-BRITTLE'-FLAVOR-INATOR, thereby creating a paradox where I never would have built the CHANGE-ALL-OF-THE-ICE-CREAM-IN-THE-WORLD-TO-'ALMOND-BRITTLE'-FLAVOR-INATOR…it's very confusing, Perry the Platypus."

**Monobrow**

"…I mean, I just don't understand why he doesn't _pluck_ that thing! Am I right, Perry the Platypus? Come on, you have to admit, it's pretty weird. Anyway, I'm getting off topic, that's an -inator for another day."

**Chocolate**

Heinz's last break-up had been a doosey. True, he'd never had a lot of luck with love, but Heinz had really thought this girl was different; that maybe she was the one. It had cut deep, when she said goodbye, muttering words like "workaholic", "neglectful", and "obsessed". Still, he would get back on his feet after a while. There was always some new plan to formulate, some petty grudge to settle, and, as always: a nemesis to foil. And now, he'd have a whole new stock of backstories to go a long with his schemes.

Suddenly, Heinz jumped, startled by the light knocking on his door.

"Go away, Perry the Platypus, I don't have an evil scheme for you to foil today." But the knocking continued. "Perry the Platypus, really, can't you leave a man alone to wallow in his own heartbreak?" The knocking only got louder.

Doofenshmirtz sighed and got up, discarding the tissue in his hand. "Perry the Platypus, I don't understand why you're being so-"

Heinz opened the door and found himself in a stunned silence. Instead of finding the monotreme he'd been scolding, he saw a small box of chocolates, along with a store-bought Get-Well-Soon card. The evil scientist retrieved the gift and examined the card. On the inside, where a signature would normally have been, was a small paw-print, presumably left by the doctor's own nemesis. Heinz smiled.

"Thank you, Perry the Platypus."

**Handsome**

All of the attention Doofenshmirtz was getting really bothered Perry. It was like the whole Tri-State-Area had become hypnotized- or better yet, trapped- by the doctor's new face, leaving Perry the only one immune. So when Perry finally set things right, reversing the settings on the -inator and restoring his nemesis's face to normal, it was as if the natural order of the world had been restored. Now, Perry could go back to being the only one the doctor ever trapped.

**Shower**

"Perry the Platypus, you are _really_ early today." Doofenshmirtz exclaimed in a higher voice than usual, tugging the towel on his waist even tighter. "Could you, ya know, give me a minute to get _dressed _at least?"

Perry backed out of the whole he'd kicked in the bathroom door, smiling sheepishly.

**Rodney**

"Your argument is completely invalid," he bragged. "I am _clearly_ the better villain. My -izers alone account for much more mayhem and dissension than your -inators ever will."

"Come on Rodney, we all know that the true measure of a villain is in his nemesis. And there is no nemesis in the world superior to Perry the Platypus! He's a suave, deft, intimidating, completely unstoppable force of nature! Not to mention he's always been there for me. He's a… he's a real great friend, ya know? And…and he's right behind me isn't he?"

"Yes. Yes, he is."

**A/N: Yay! It's finally up! Sorry guys, for the delay. For anyone who read my other fan-fiction ("Second Impressions"), I know this is a repeat excuse, but I did go through a break-up recently that's had me pretty distracted (ironically, it was with the same guy as last time…). Not to mention I just started my first semester at college…regardless: Here it is! Thanks again to awesome reviewers- keep 'em comin' guys! Special mentions that I didn't put above: Amaris and doompuppet- thank you for the suggestions, they are always welcome! (P.S. I liked your last idea, doompuppet. I may experiment with that in a future chapter ;) so keep an eye out**


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